Thursday, 30 August 2012

Guilt of a Working Mum

I work because...A) I need to... B) I want to make a go of the new business my OH has just started..., and C) the work ethic is passed onto my children.  I must admit, I love it.  I have never felt so content in a job. Don't get me wrong, it's not a high flying career, and the pay, say I won't be buying a second home in the sun just yet is a bit of an understatement.  More like NEVER.  3 years at university to end up in a job I trained to do when I was 16, but then again I've never been driven by money.  I get great satisfaction from only having myself to answer to.  I can walk to work as it's only just over a mile away.  I can take my children to work  (I say children, I mean child, the other 2 are already in employment), and it fits in with school hours.

However, as perfect as it sounds, it is not without it's downfalls.  I have to work 6 days a week and have not really taken time off during the summer holidays which is why  I am getting a bad back trying to lift this burden called guilt.  Guilty at not doing all the other things I see mums and dads doing during the holidays.  We try and compensate by going to our caravan at the weekends which provides quality time with one another but I always feel the time goes by too quickly and Monday comes around and it's either come to the office with me and be bored, or stop with a babysitter and not see your parents all day.  I've always worked but my work never seem to impact so much on family life as this job is doing.  That's why I have decided to teach my youngest to bake.  She's 8 years old and has a very sharp inquisitive mind.  I baked with the elder 2, eldest took to it like a duck to water whilst middle daughter struggles to distinguish flour from icing sugar and a sieve from a spoon, but hey ho, no 3 children are the same.

Child 3, who I shall refer to as Mini A from now on, was most eager to start baking her first batch of fairy cakes.  I have always baked with them... I've let them lick the bowl and stir the mixture until their poor little arms ached, and then swiftly took over again to create the perfect text book fairy cakes.  This time though, as much as it pained me, I took a back seat and let her do everything (apart from getting the icing sugar to the right consistency, she can do that next time).  She loved it.

Mini A wanted to decorate her cakes for family and friends.  I wanted to show her how, but she insisted on doing it herself.  I must say, not bad for a for a first attempt. and on tiptoes too may I add.
All in all a very productive evening, in more ways than one.  Baking provided delicious treats for tomorrow, increased maths and life skills, and most importantly it provided quality time together,
Did I mention my back was starting to ease up a little?...For a short while anyway!


  1. Hope you won't feel guilty for long - you are as you say showing your kids a good worth ethic and they will appreciate the quality time you do spend with them - like cake making - what could be more enjoyable - plenty of time to chat too. My 13 year old likes cooking and we are finding it a great way to spend short bursts of time together.

  2. Just found you via Tracing Rainbows'. Welcome to the blogging world.
    My daughter and I used to spend time baking together, but her favourite thing to make was meringues, which she then ate as fast as she could! She has taught her son to cook so the tradition goes on.

  3. Don't feel guilty at all. Teaching your kids to bake is wonderful - you spend quality time together. So many parents don't do anything - just plonk the kids in front of the computer or TV!

  4. My girls are both better in the kitchen than I am now [aged 27 and 30] I have mentioned your lovely new blog on my blog today - hope you pick up some more followers!

    blessings xx

  5. I've come to you via Angela at Tracing Rainbows too. I think I'm going to enjoy your blog! As others have said, I don't think you need worry too much about being a working mum - you seem to be a very handson and caring one too.

    Good luck with the new blog - and those cakes look delicious!

  6. Cooking with children is so much more enjoyable than without's messier, takes longer but it is so much fun!
    Sarah xx

  7. You're teaching her lots of valuable lessons, the best to make cake....yummy!! She'll thank you for that one one day :-)

    Sue xx

  8. Also visiting from Tracing Rainbows- evry excited to find a kindred soul in the venting spleen department!

  9. Don`t beat yourself up over this 'having to work' issue. My mum worked most days in my dad`s petrol station when I was very young. I never felt deprived as we had fabulous holidays in our caravan and went on occasional weekend outings. It`s the quality time with the parents I remember fondly and I have long forgotten that I was left with grandparents most other days. Your kids will also remember the good times and the quality time spent, like your cake baking together. It counts an awful lot in the eyes of children that you are fully present and attentive when you are with them. Make the most of the time you`ve got together and they will thank you for it, I`m sure! You`re doing the right thing by them and that`s all that matters.

  10. My daughter bakes - self taught ! Whatever we do the guilt seems to creep up. I have been lucky enough to be a stay at home mum and now at nearly fifty am breaking back into the working world. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I bet those wonderful looking hands on mummies aren't perfect at all !

  11. Hello:
    How very exciting to come across a very new blog and one which has such an intriguing title. How could we resist?!! Having started our own blog just over a year ago, we do understand something of the trepidation which one feels when first one presses the 'Publish' button.

    Your new job does sound very time consuming and we are sure that you must look forward to trips to your caravan whenever possible for a rest and a change.

    Teaching children to cook, and take responsibility as part of a family is, we feel, very important and is a first step towards becoming, finally, independent adults. And if such household tasks can be enjoyed, then so much the better.

    We have signed as Followers in order to stay in touch.

  12. My work is very seasonal and peaks in the summer with growing our own food, running the B&B, and also my freelance work has come thick and fast this summer. I have spent the holiday apologizing to my daughter for the lack of quality time, but she has become very good at amusing herself, and tells me that she does not feel deprived. I think it helps children appreciate the significance and importance of work, and she understands that she also gains by the fact that I am earning money for the family. We are having our one and only outing on the last day of the holidays, but I think rarity makes it seem even more of a treat! So don't feel guilty - children understand these things more than we are inclined to think, and she will be learning all sorts of good things from you.

    I am glad that you are gathering readers - hope the mention I gave you has helped with this. It is always difficult starting out and finding your way round Blogland.

    Pomona x